Often, by the time a mom comes into my office they are burnt out. They say things like “I don’t know what’s wrong with me” as they sob on the couch and describe to me a feeling of being deeply tired, stressed, overworked, and feeling like a failure in every area of their life.
It’s not that these women don’t love being moms. In fact the extreme opposite is often the case. They love being a mom so much, they forget about everything else in their life, and one day they wake up and they have nothing left to give. It’s at this point, where they feel they have nothing left to give, that they wander into my office.
I work with women to help them to start taking care of themselves in a way that still allows them to take care of their families. The word self care gets thrown around a lot and is usually coupled with bubble baths, wine, and scented candles but that kind of self care is not realistic for the busy mom so I work with my client’s on simplifying self care. Self care simplified means making sure the basics are covered. Am I well rested? Am I hydrated? Am I hungry? Self care is asking yourself “What do I need right now?” Sometimes the answer will be “A bubble bath, some wine, and to light one of my nice scented candles”. Sometimes the answer will be surprisingly simple, like, “I need to go to the bathroom” or “I need to drink some water”.
You see, when you’re a busy mom you are so trained to tune into what’s going on with your family that sometimes you forget to tune into what’s going on with you.
Your assignment this week, if you choose to accept it, is to set a reminder on your phone. When the reminder goes off, I want you to take a moment to breathe in deep 2-3 times and to ask yourself “what do I need right now”. Whatever comes up is OK. You don’t have to act on whatever comes up for you, you don’t have to do anything. Step one is to just acknowledge what your need is.
Want more individualized support? I have a couple of openings in my San Diego practice right now. To schedule an appointment call (619) 383-1900.