When things aren’t working in a relationship it is easy to see how the other person has hurt us. Our focused is turned outward, noticing all the ways in which our partner’s haven’t shown up for us, haven’t expressed care, have let us down or been difficult or started fights with us. It’s easy to see how the other person is doing all the wrong things. We can start to have thoughts like “If only they would stop being so sensitive”, “If only they could focus on my emotions more”, “They don’t care for me, they can’t even sit and listen to my emotions”. The narrative and pain is all abut the other person.
Read more3 Types of Conflict Attitudes
In my work as a marriage and family therapist I’ve found that there are 3 distinct types of conflict attitudes. There is the conflict comfortable (aka conflict neutral), conflict avoidant, and people who seem to seek out and relish conflict.
Read moreWhy can't I just talk to my friend? Why go to a therapist?
Great question! Talking to a friend, sister, or partner sometimes is enough. But sometimes it just doesn’t cut it. When things are really challenging and the struggle has been going on for a long time, leaning on friends and
Read moreTips for Talking to your Therapist
Wondering what to say to your therapist? Worried you won't know what to share once you are in the room. Here is a link to an article that may be able to help.
Read moreDrinking to cope with motherhood
Today women juggle more responsibilities and have more stress than any other generation before them. They feel pressure to be the perfect parent, bring in an income that allows for a nice house and to pay for their kids soccer and ballet lessons. When at work they feel pressure to be home, when home they feel pressure to be the fun and sexy wife, when with their children they are worried about work. It feels that life is always moving, they are never where they “should” be
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